If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
