You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
