and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize