I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
