I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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