Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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