they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
