Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
