i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
