Pappa wants mamma naked
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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