i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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