??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
