4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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