Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize