3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You're so nebulous sometimes
now i know why i became what i already was.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
