I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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