U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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