When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
