A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
And then he peed in my hair
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