seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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