I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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