i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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