There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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