shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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