you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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