I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
