that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
as a side note pls kill me
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
