We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
