what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
