Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
