I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
