you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
