ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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