Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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