im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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