Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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