she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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