Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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