Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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