Duck Duck Cougar?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize