i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
