Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
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