guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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