Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
