is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
