So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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