Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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