So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.