is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
