I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?