If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
