I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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