You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Randomize
