He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
