Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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