Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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