Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize