Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
