Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
