dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
