Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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