Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
