Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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