i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
They took my balls.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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