Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
