Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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