im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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