It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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