so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?