Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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(713): View more from Texas

never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away

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(804): View more from Virginia

This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(510): View more from California

come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room

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(505): View more from New Mexico

So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"

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