it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial