found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia