Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  People in love make me want to vomit

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  (609): People in love make me want to vomit http://tfl.nu/3x4v
  Replies (34) Good night (1607) Bad night (2607) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.

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  (507): The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything. http://tfl.nu/zuo5
  Replies (41) Good night (2350) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to

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  (604): her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to http://tfl.nu/r2n2
  Replies (25) Good night (425) Bad night (3418) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.

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  (610): my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while. http://tfl.nu/6x6m
  Replies (14) Good night (593) Bad night (5592) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision

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  (518): wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision http://tfl.nu/37aw
  Replies (11) Good night (5785) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  your tears are not going to buy me drinks...

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  (212): your tears are not going to buy me drinks... http://tfl.nu/o6xp
  Replies (14) Good night (1004) Bad night (3617) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed

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  (630): slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed http://tfl.nu/wcfq
  Replies (26) Good night (4195) Bad night (1085) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Wow. Its not even 11am.

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  (973): Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house. (1-973): Wow. Its not even 11am. http://tfl.nu/p3yd
  Replies (3) Good night (2986) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke

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  (859): So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke http://tfl.nu/0mgq
  Replies (8) Good night (2168) Bad night (1173) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.

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  (574): I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus. http://tfl.nu/ya8h
  Replies (4) Good night (2227) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.

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  (613): New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple. http://tfl.nu/c07n
  Replies (11) Good night (2015) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis

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  (909): If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis http://tfl.nu/ldcq
  Replies (2) Good night (1581) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.

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  (908): I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping. http://tfl.nu/2e7t
  Replies (18) Good night (833) Bad night (1514) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.

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  (330): Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out. http://tfl.nu/uvib
  Replies (7) Good night (829) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.

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  (401): I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car. http://tfl.nu/oyb7
  Replies (3) Good night (194) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt

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