I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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