I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
