totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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