the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
