I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
